Breakfast Biscuits

IMG_1155 I’ve mentioned how much I love Bisquick, right? If not: I really love Bisquick. You can combine it with milk and use just that to produce biscuits. Or you can add more stuff, and have incredible biscuits.


  • Bisquick
  • pre-cooked bacon
  • shredded cheese
  • salt and pepper or whatever
  • milk

Start your oven preheating to 350°F and cut up the bacon with kitchen shears. Add a couple cups of Bisquick and a couple handfuls of shredded cheese, then mix it all up so it’s sort of evenly distributed. Splash in some milk – you don’t need much – and either use a spoon or your hands to combine it so that it’s still quite dry but pretty much sticks together. Then you can either make it ball-type things and stick them on an ungreased nonstick baking tray or do what I did and roll it out and then cut it into fairly large vaguely squarish things and bake them for 12 minutes that way.

They taste like breakfast! All in one portable food.

Individual Peach Pies


  • tube of crescent rolls
  • a ripe peach
  • brown sugar
  • cinnamon
  • nutmeg

I feel like I’ve been putting cinnamon and nutmeg in everything recently, but they’re goddamn delicious so whatever.

Putting all of this together took a little longer than preheating my oven did, so you might want to mix together the brown sugar and cinnamon and nutmeg or slice the peach into 8ths before you start the oven preheating to 350°F.

Anyway, slice the peach into 8ths and unroll the crescent rolls. Put one of the peach slices on each of the unrolled crescent rolls. If you’re fancy or whatever you could probably chop the peach and spices and sugar together and make it more pie-filling-y, but whatever. Add some sugar and spices to each of the rolls, then roll them up and fold over the edges so that there’s not much peach showing.

Arrange those on a non-stick baking sheet and stick them in the oven for 15 minutes or until they start looking golden brown.

Try to wait until they’re cool before eating, but enjoy them even if you end up scalding your tongue.

Loaded Sweet Potatoes

The whole idea of sweet potatoes with brown sugar on was deeply weird to me a few years ago.


  • big can sweet potatoes
  • nutmeg
  • cinnamon
  • brown sugar
  • marshmallows

Start your oven preheating to 350°F, then drain your can of sweet potatoes. Chuck them in a large casserole dish, then mix with the cinnamon, nutmeg, and brown sugar in whatever quantity make you happy. Top with several handfuls of marshmallows, then stick in the oven for like 40 minutes or whatever: nothing needs to be cooked, really, but you want the marshmallows to be golden brown on top.

Everything now tastes like candy and technically has nutritional value.

Simple White Lasagna

T hates tomato sauce and ricotta and cooked spinach: I love lasagna as comfort food. Since I cook for both of us, and it had been three years since I made it, eventually something had to give.


  • block of colby jack
  • jar of four cheese sauce
  • like 6 chicken thighs
  • a zucchini
  • lasagna noodles

Cook the chicken! Don’t precook the lasagna noodles – there are any number of brands that do no-cook noodles now, but even if they’re not no-cook, add some extra water to the pan before you stick it in the oven and don’t worry about it.

Cut the chicken up into little bits, and grate the cheese and the zucchini. When all that prep is done, start your oven preheating to 350°F and start assembling. I did chicken then zucchini then cheese then noodles, with about a quarter of the cheese sauce spread on top of the noodles thin and even so you don’t get weird dry spots. Repeat four times, then add something like a quarter or half a cup of water so the noodles absorb it. Cover in a bunch more cheese on the very top so you get the melty delicious thing going on.

Using jarred sauce meant I skipped adding any other spices – if you want more flavor, you can mix it in with some of the stuff you’re layering or make it a layer on its own. By this time your oven is probably beeping insistently at you about being preheated, so pop it in for 45-50 minutes. If you’re feeling fancy, turn the heat up in the last ten minutes so the cheese on top gets bubblier.

Spicy Cheese Bread

There’s a place in town that does the most amazing spicy cheese bread. If you get to the Farmer’s Market at the right time, you can get it still warm and then walk around the rest of the square while devouring it in chunks. It’s kind of locally famous, and absolutely deserves that fame. But getting it involves going all the way downtown and having cash at ass o’clock in the morning, so I wanted to come up with some kind of facsimile.


  • frozen bread dough
  • cheddar cheese
  • red chili pepper flakes

Thaw the bread dough and roll it out, then cover it in shredded cheese. Just cover it. Fold it over and roll it again, then add more cheese – plus red pepper. Add cheese until the dough can’t hold more cheese, then shape the loaf however – braid it, shove it in a loaf pan, cut it into sixths and make balls to bake them into buns. Put more cheese on top. Let that rise for twenty minutes or half an hour, then bake at 350°F for 22-25 minutes.

Eat it still warm if at all possible, either alone or with butter. Try not to cry at the perfect combination of cheese and chili pepper.