Reward Biscuits

I fairly badly needed to clean the kitchen: dirty dishes on the counters and island, stove greasy, dirty dishes in the sink, clean dishes in the dishwasher – anyway, you get the point, which is that I am a human disaster. We also are once again out of bagels. So I needed both food and motivation to not live in filth.

Motivation mostly tastes like cheese.

Ingredients:IMG_1186

  • bisquick
  • seasoning salt
  • pepper
  • milk
  • shredded cheese

Start your oven preheating to 350°F and get out your ingredients, a large spoon, a bowl, and a baking tray.

Throw a bunch of Bisquick in the bowl, then add a fair sprinkling of pepper and seasoning salt: you don’t want tons, probably, but the bit of extra flavor makes them taste amazing and also like they took more than a half second to plan out.

Add a dollop of milk! Then start mixing stuff up. It should end up just moist enough to hold together. When you’re close to that texture, toss in a bunch of shredded cheese and some more milk and mix that in, a bit more gently. Does it more or less hold together? Good.

Now use the spoon to transfer big lumps of it to your non-stick baking tray. I got six biscuits about the size of my palm, but results will vary depending how big you like them and how much Bisquick you started with. Then add more shredded cheese on top, as much as will stay more or less in place. At some point when you’re finishing up, the oven should be finished pre-heating, so just pop those in. I cooked mine for 13 minutes, and they’re still kind of soft and the cheese on top is gloriously melted but not really bubbly. Mix up your baking time as needed! You probably don’t want anything shorter than 8 minutes or longer than 20, though, no matter your biscuit size.

While those are cooking, you can probably clean most of a kitchen, putting away dishes and loading the dishwasher and wiping down counters. I found it very motivating, because you can get a lot done in a short time and then afterwards sit down with a piping hot, cheesy biscuit as a reward for being an actual adult who does cleaning and stuff.

Breakfast Muffins

I am pretty sure I have successfully found the difference between biscuits and muffins: eggs.

Ingredients:IMG_1168

  • bisquick
  • pre-cooked bacon
  • pepper
  • shredded cheese
  • eggs
  • milk

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Mix together a bunch of bisquick, two or three eggs, some pepper, and a splash of milk. Slice in your pre-cooked bacon, somewhere in the quantity of a couple of pieces to lots, sprinkle in some cheese, and then mix that together more carefully.

Is it still a suspension if it’s closer to solid than liquid? Anyway, you want it a suspension, not a solution, so just approximate equal distribution of bacon.

If you have a muffin tin, grease the inside of it. If you are lucky enough to have freestanding muffin tins in your cupboard, gloat about your lack of cleanup and use those. Spoon roughly equal quantities of mixture into each one, to about two thirds full, then put more shredded cheese on top of each one.

Bake for 12-15 minutes or until they look done.

I made 6, and they tasted like bacon and happiness.

Breakfast Biscuits

IMG_1155 I’ve mentioned how much I love Bisquick, right? If not: I really love Bisquick. You can combine it with milk and use just that to produce biscuits. Or you can add more stuff, and have incredible biscuits.

Ingredients:

  • Bisquick
  • pre-cooked bacon
  • shredded cheese
  • salt and pepper or whatever
  • milk

Start your oven preheating to 350°F and cut up the bacon with kitchen shears. Add a couple cups of Bisquick and a couple handfuls of shredded cheese, then mix it all up so it’s sort of evenly distributed. Splash in some milk – you don’t need much – and either use a spoon or your hands to combine it so that it’s still quite dry but pretty much sticks together. Then you can either make it ball-type things and stick them on an ungreased nonstick baking tray or do what I did and roll it out and then cut it into fairly large vaguely squarish things and bake them for 12 minutes that way.

They taste like breakfast! All in one portable food.

‘Omelette’ for a given value thereof

IMG_1074Did you know that you can buy completely precooked bacon and not deal with the problem of discarding bacon grease ever again? Yes. It is, indeed, a thing one can do.

For when one is perpetually out of bagels, this is useful information. This is also prepared with my own preferences in mind: I can’t abide runny egg white, but I love when the yolk is still gooey.

Ingredients:

  • bacon
  • shredded cheese
  • egg

Crack a couple eggs in a nonstick pan that is over medium heat. Go stare at your caffeinated beverage of choice to try to make it ready faster. When the eggs are showing completely white on the bottom and starting to firm up a bit, put your bacon and cheese and chives or veggies or whatever if you want them in the middle.

Use a flat spatula to flip part of the eggs over so the fillings are contained in egg. If you do it softly, you won’t break the yolk. Cook it another couple minutes to let cook through, and serve. Feeds one.

It is vaguely omelette-like! Not necessarily as pretty, but it is delicious eggs that taste like bacon, so who cares?

Egg Toast

My ideal breakfast remains an everything bagel with smoked salmon cream cheese, but T is on night shifts, so we haven’t been grocery shopping in a very long time except for the runs I’m making with E for ingredients for specific dishes. Anyway, the upshot is that I’ve had to piece together breakfast from other things.

The Correct Breakfast in absence of bagels always strikes me as involving eggs, toast, and, if possible, bacon. My personal preference is for that combination to involve as few dishes and utensils as physically possible. Thus: egg toast.

Ingredients:

  • eggs
  • as many slices of bread as eggs
  • whatever you like on eggs

Put your bread on a tray that fits in a toaster oven. Crack the eggs carefully over the bread, so it all stays on the piece of bread. Add your seasonings – I used taco seasoning and pre-shredded taco cheese because cheese makes everything better and the only cheese options we have right now are taco cheese and Kraft singles. Salt, pepper, w/e, will all work, but if you’re fond of salsa or ketchup or hot sauce I’d either go light or wait until the end so the bread doesn’t get super soggy.

Toast for five minutes! Our toaster oven has various settings like ‘bake’ and ‘keep warm’ and ‘toast,’ and also a temperature control. I left it on the bread toasting settings because honestly it is morning and everything is already too complicated.

When I am actually making breakfast, I like to clean the kitchen while it goes. There’s a definite end-point in sight, but it’s kind of amazing how much you can get done in five minutes. When the toaster goes off, transfer the toast – which will be very wobbly with egg – to a plate, and microwave for 45 seconds. This cooks the egg most of the way, but it also makes the bread kind of soggy, so if you then transfer the toast back to the tray and toast it another five minutes, it should be completely cooked, with crispy toast and cooked egg white with still slightly runny yolk. Yum.